Managing Mistakes and Failures

As I’m reading this book “100 Great Businesses and the Minds Behinds Them”.. the one constant theme is how these normal people like you and I.. failed.. became discouraged but didn’t give up..

I say that to say this.. we will not succeed in everything – the first time around. We shouldn’t hope to.. there is no lesson learned in Winning.. Success teaches us nothing.. Adversity, Failure, Experience reign supreme as the Master teachers. The key is to manage your “failures” so they become “lessons”.

Personally speaking, I have experienced “MASSIVE LESSONS” in my life. {note the CAPS lol).. Regardless of them being self-inflicted or out of my control. These “massive lessons” could easily have been “EPIC FAILURES”.. Truth be told.. they were at times. Some failures required more time to be managed and converted into lessons. Some failures and mistakes are still in the conversion pipeline lol.. But the point is.. I am not my failures or mistakes.. They don’t define me.

Assume you make a mistake or you fail at something.. your first reaction may be Anger, Frustration, Disappointment, etc.. Agree?? Now the clock starts.. how long will you allow that feeling or feelings to control you? We can call our friends and family to complain and tell them what happened.. how angry we are.. OR we can rant on social networks until our heart is content. My favorite one is.. something bad happens.. we rant, rave, complain, tell everyone.. let it die down.. until someone or something reminds you of it.. and BAM.. ROUND 2.. back to the same cycle.. Neither one is effective..

Why? All that time you’ve spent complaining, ranting and raving.. you couldn’t analyzed the situation.. A good friend of mind and co-worker calls this process a “Post-Mortem” review. It works as follows:

1. Allow your mind time to come up with a viable solution, don’t beat yourself up. Tell yourself.. “It happened.. things happen.. but it won’t keep happening”.

2. Think of someone who can assist in the Solution process versus just listening to you rant. I wouldn’t suggest going to your volatile friends and family members. This would be a perfect time to consult your mentor or someone level headed that won’t just tell you “what you want to hear”

3. Cough it up as a mistake and make a better decision next time.

4. If it was someone else’s error, mistake, bad decision or intention – forgive them and think of a way to reduce the chances of it happening again. Always ask yourself – “what was my role in this?” .. 80% of the time you will have a role in it.. whether its allowing someone access, granting someone else control or trusting someone to do something. Accept your responsibility and move forward with a better thought process

Remember its NOT what happens to us.. Its how we respond to.. what happens to us.